Don’t judge me…

But I’m totally going to watch that new Jennifer Lopez movie, problematic “single career woman must have a child to be fulfilled” plot line aside . Despite the fact that she’s a sort of boring  actress, I’ve been surprised to find that I have inexplicably positive feelings toward J.Lo flicks. Perhaps I just have a case of early 00’s nostalgia, those days when J.Lo was still making questionable but highly danceable music and Ja Rule was the biggest rapper alive (I said, don’t judge me).

Besides, Sookie from Gilmore Girls is in it, and I’m glad to see that a girl has been able to find work since then.

Stupid Romantic Comedy Conventions, Pt. 1

I like to joke that I don’t just watch romantic comedies, I am a connoisseur of  them. I say this to try to class up my enjoyment of romantic comedies by passing it off as some academic endeavor, which for the most part, it is not. What can I say, I love observing the lives of busy young professionals with great New York apartments who fall in love despite their vow never to fall again/obvious disdain for each other/dedication to becoming the youngest partner in the firm, etc.

Having watched approximately a gazillion romantic comedies, (actual figure) I’ve become a little obsessed with noting conventional plot lines in these types of films. The thing about romantic comedies is that 98% of what happens in them is ridiculous and would be totally inappropriate, creepy, or just stupid in real life. So this is the first in a series of posts in which I talk about particularly stupid romantic comedy conventions.

Okay, I thought about this all last night, and here’s one that really bothers me. At the end of these films, after the couple has spent time apart because of the requisite Big Fight,why do they always have to tell the person that they’re still in love and want to get back together right away? And what really bothers me about it is that they usually have some really Big Important Meeting That Will Make Their Career, but they decide to blow it off just so they can immediately tell Charlie (to be gender neutral) that he/she’s the one and they never stopped loving him/her. There definitely is a higher level analysis that could be done of why the characters always have to sacrifice their careers, (especially if they are women) but I just can’t get over the silliness of it all. I mean, if you absolutely have to tell the person while the meeting is going on, send them an email on the Blackberry you’re always toting around (cause if there’s one thing we learned from the movies, it’s that  high-powered executives are slaves to their PDAs).

Also, why are the clients always so cool with it? Not only do they calmly accept the explanation that the character really has to make up with their partner instead of finishing up the deal, there’s also usually one person (usually a sassy black woman) who’s goes above and beyond empathy and is like “Honey, what you waitin’  for? You betta go tell that man you love him right now!” Uuuum, no. You betta be a grown-up and finish your meeting and secure your spot as youngest V.P. of Corporate Development or whatever. And then after, you can call your lover and y’all can have the best day ever because not only did you two reunite, you also got the sweet promotion you’ve been chasing after your entire professional career.

So in sum, whenever you start watching a romantic comedy and the precocious young professional is gunning after a promotion–be afraid, because they are going to screw it up at the end by inconceivably walking away from their professional future. I guess you can’t have it all!